We started helping people with their speeches almost a decade ago. We were working in writing and editing jobs in New York and our friends began coming to us with anxiety about speeches they had to write. We realized that if the smartest, funniest and most capable people we knew were struggling, others must be, too.
Many believe the key to a memorable toast is to make sure you follow a fairly standard template: to thank certain guests, give advice and lead the party in raising their glasses. While that can be a good place to start, whatever you do should feel personal. The audience should learn something new about who the toast is about, for example—you can include anecdotes but keep it to one or two.
There are those who want to be utterly unique—in the States, people love to do songs or rap. But for most people, giving a normal speech will be enough: The tradition of toast-giving is ancient and there’s a reason the classic method resonates. If you do decide to deviate from something straightforward, it should be as a break in your speech rather than to replace it entirely.
The most significant rule is that a toast should have a beginning, a middle and an end. It should take the audience on an emotional journey where they don’t quite know where they are heading. We often say that people should both laugh and cry, but always consider your strengths—you don’t suddenly need to become a comedian. Unless you are extremely funny and good at delivery, it should be more heart than humor. (If you do include a heartfelt moment, make sure to read that part a little more slowly.)
Ultimately, it’s about understanding who you are (and who the honoree is) and making it authentic. And remember, whether you’re giving a toast at a wedding or a birthday party or on New Year’s Eve, everyone will be rooting for you.
Start With Less
The most reliable systems are light enough to repeat. Choose one place for notes, one time for review, and one clear boundary around uninterrupted work.
A routine should lower the cost of beginning.
When the structure is simple, attention has somewhere to land. That is where better work starts.
Reference images from the story
